Primary songs

This is my favorite Alyssa interpretation...

"Book of Mormon stories tells my teacher to be free."

Endings...beginnings...change

I think I have a conglomeration of photos from this summer that include that dude I call my brother. It will probably turn into a blog post one day. But suffice it to say for now, we are sad the summer is over and that Ben is gone. 

Paradoxical Glory

The weather has been close to glorious the last few days. The sky has broken and rain has made an appearance more than once this week. Despite the relatively cool weather (it's still hot), Alyssa used her powers of persuasion to convince me to inflate the pool this morning. Such a desire stems from the discovery of a swimsuit hanging in my closet that I bought for next year. She just had to try it out!

I hope when you look at these pictures you see a happy little girl, enjoying life and the experiences it provides in the moments they happen. I hope you see the beauty of the trees, though fear-inducing- as they shade our sanctuary backyard. I hope you can feel the wonder of being outside, secluded, without anything but water and laughter and love in your heart.

We made it through our first two weeks of school. Yet my desire to have Alyssa home, learning at her pace and with her interests has blossomed! Alyssa enjoys preschool thoroughly. I, too, enjoy the few hours I have each week to do some things for myself. But I also feel so deeply that there is so much to learn and experience that can't be done within the walls of school. I want my children to live their childhood free from 9 week testing and days void of recess. I want them to be outside, exploring. I want them to stand by me in the kitchen, creating. I want them to build nests and be birds or cats or dogs, pretending. I want them to see the beauty in life while life is beautiful. 

I'm glad she has three days a week to do her thing. But I'm even more grateful that she's home four days a week and we can have days like today.

Baby Archibald

Our little man Archibald is growing! He has dilated kidneys, which means he has fluid in his kidneys. This isn't exactly normal, but at this point it is not something to worry about. There is nothing that can be done or determined, as far as I can tell, until after he is born.

The positive side of this is that I have had another ultra sound, which means I got to see him again and thus scored a few more pictures! He was much more cooperative this time! He even showed me his muscle...or his chubby arm...

And here is a little thumb sucking in action. First he opens his mouth nice and wide and brings his thumb up...

And then, SCORE! Suck, suck suck.

I didn't take any pictures for the purpose of "bump memorabilia" with Alyssa. Here is my bump so far. When I have a hard time breathing of when I bend over it feels much bigger than it really is when I look at it in this picture.

22.5 weeks

Pictures from an ice storm

This was a fun day (not in August). Cold, icy, and different. I am glad it's not hot forever in Mississippi. Thought that was a pretty cold day. We did manage to get some sledding in with this storm. We rode in a laundry basket and on a storage lid and had a great time!

When your child grows up

Alyssa started preschool. The night before I asked her if she wanted a special breakfast for her first day of school. It was already after 8 PM and assumed the request would be pancakes or waffles. She nodded her head, thought for a moment and then said, "Cinnamon rolls". And cinnamon rolls it was.

Despite it being almost 9 PM by the time I put them together, Alyssa was still awake and happy to help. This really isn't unusual. We have lots of late nights. Alyssa is a night owl just like Erik. I let her come help. I value the things we do together and though, like any sane mother, I like my time alone, I am also thankful for the times we can do things together. And I was feeling like I needed to spend every moment I could with her before I sent her off to school.





The next morning she woke up bright eyed, ready to go to school. She got dressed, ate breakfast, and was anxious to leave! I drove her to school, anxious to un-sign her up from school and keep my girl home with me forever! She was fine with me doing the car drop off so I drove up, she hopped out, and didn't even wait for anyone to escort her in. They asked her if she knew whose class she was in, she said yes and then went forward, not ever looking back!

It will be an exciting year for her. It is hard for me to let go. We do everything together and now I have 9 hours a week where we aren't doing something together! As I watched her walk into that door, I felt like a piece of my heart was leaving me, now so vulnerable and unprotected. But she will be ok. She's fierce and independent and so happy. I take a deep breath, tell myself it is ok, and see the enjoyment it will give her.

Oh, and this is us with the half green, half orange pepper we ate for lunch after school. Simple pleasures!

Fabulous days start with cool mornings

I woke up this morning and opened the door. The air was fresh and cool rather than muggy, hot and stale. I was determined to enjoy these moments because only heaven knows how long it will stay the hand of heat.

I went to the military park, walked a loop and pondered on life, feeling full of gratitude for the beautiful world in which we live

.

We spent the morning playing outside in our shade covered yard. Alyssa got training wheels for Pinecone, her bike. She even now rides it in endless circles despite the heat that has once again blanketed the atmosphere.

This week has been much better than last week. I feel that for whatever reason much of the burden I felt and expressed previously as relieved. Perhaps the very expression of it is what I needed. Though I do know that God is ever present and aware of me. The Atonement of Christ enables and strengthens me. I have also felt more gratitude, which somehow lifts the heart.

We have had good days of forts, tie dying, story reading, and bike riding. We played with friends, napped, swam, colored, made bread. It has been lovely.

 

A Story To Tell

I have a story to tell. It's kind of a long story. It's been evolving over years, which makes it long. It also might be kind of sappy, but it's part of our family history and thus I share. And it does have a happy ending.

Probably three-ish years ago when Alyssa was one I was ready to have another child. I thought we were ready. Erik was ok with the idea and so we put it in the Lord's hands. I didn't know what that meant at the time.

Looking back I can clearly remember having conversations with other moms about spacing of children. I was pretty sure that there was no way I'd have three years between my children. Why wait? Three years would be an eternity. No. We would have children close together, no matter what it took financially or mentally or physically. It just seemed logical to me. Children close together play together and grow together. Too many years means age difference separation.

I began to learn in the months and years that followed our initial plan for baby #2 that my plan was not God's plan. I thought I could manipulate when Heavenly Father's spirits should come to my family. I thought I knew what was right for me and Erik and Alyssa and that next baby. But I began to see I had a lot to learn.

Thus far nothing has stretched me and my faith like waiting for a second child. I have been a blessed being in many ways throughout my life. Much goes my way though not without effort and work and trying to live righteously, but nevertheless, it still goes my way. My struggles have been small and my hills passable. I have had what I have wanted throughout my life and many times it comes to find me before I have to go looking for it. But not this.

We expected to get pregnant quickly because that's how it happened with Alyssa. We were expecting shortly after we prayed and fasted about starting our family. It was amazing and looking back I see how blessed we were. My pregnancy was uncomplicated. I finished my senior year of chemical engineering and had very few worries once I passed the miscarriage wall of 14 weeks.

The second time around was not so easy. And I couldn't really figure out what was going on. I was pretty sure I would have my second child in Delaware. I had a friend or two there that struggled with the "i" word (I don't really like to say it), but I was sure that would never be me. By the time we left Delaware it had been a good 18 months with no success and with my anxiety increasing.

In that time I began to learn more deeply about the Atonement and the enabling power that Christ offers us. I began to see that God has a plan for us in a very personal way. It didn't always make the monthly trying and then waiting any easier, but I found peace and comfort in that.

We moved to Mississippi and within the first two weeks I was starting to put together that more than four families had "i" issues and that many of the children in the ward were adopted. My initial reaction was a bit of resentment toward God because I immediately assumed that must be why He sent us to Mississippi. I was going to learn to accept adoption and that was going to be His plan for our family. It felt a little unfair; kind of like I was being forced into it.

But my heart changed. I got to know these families. I learned of how God placed children in their lives. I learned to love their children and, at times, wish they were mine. Within time my will had changed and I was becoming much more willing to do whatever God wanted us to do. Alyssa was now three and still an "only child" (ooo, scary) and we had to do something!

It became such a blessing to be surrounded by so many encouraging people who knew how I felt and who had felt it too. At the end of 2014 we started fertility stuff...ya know, for the "i" problem, which was really something I didn't want to admit was my problem. I just liked to think we needed a little push...We started Clomid. That was about as far as I was willing to go down that path. We got pregnant in October and miscarried in December. It was hard, but I had guarded my heart pretty fiercely and it was not the end of the world. It was a little crazy because Grandpa Nelsen passed away at the same time and I found myself in the ER in SLC so far from Erik when the miscarriage was confirmed. But I had been showing signs three weeks previous, so it wasn't a total surprise.

At the beginning of 2015 I started studying the Book of Mormon to understand faith. It was a wonderful study and I learned so much. I learned that faith is more than just praying for something. We have to have plans and pray and act and trust in the Lord. Erik and I decided it was time to start foster care with the hope that we could get a baby and adopt it. We started taking the training classes and we tried another round of Clomid as well.

Right before I started Clomid I read about Alma the elder. His son, Alma the younger, had been visited by an angel to turn him back to God and was consequently unconscious for 3 days. This was something his father Alma had been praying for. But Alma the elder did not just say "Thank you God for answering my prayers, hope everything turns out well." He fasted and prayed until Alma, his son, regained consciousness. Alma continued in faith despite knowing that God was behind the whole thing.

I knew we had to fast and I knew that whatever happened would be a miracle. We would either get a foster child that needed us or we would get pregnant. I was pretty sure I knew what the answer was but I should at least put it in God's hands one more time.

A few weeks later we found out we were expecting again! It was the day we closed on our house...just to add fun to more fun.

I was thankful, but very skeptical. We continued doing the foster classes and just felt that time would tell.

This week I reached 20 weeks. You know what that means...

A new little face of a sweet little guy will be sharing this blog with the rest of us! Our excitement is growing. It has been a fairly easy pregnancy, physically, but it has been emotionally draining. I have worried constantly and mostly fear for the worst. My heart goes out to friends and acquaintances that have suffered loss of their sweet babes in one way or another over the past year and throughout their lives. It is heart wrenching. I fear in part because of faith for I know anything but a healthy, happy full term baby would be another wonderful chance to test my faith.

However, as I was thinking over it this week, the hymn, "Rejoice! The Lord is King!" came into my mind. I can rejoice! I do not know what God's plan is beyond right now, but I can always rejoice! No matter the outcome, there is cause to rejoice! Life is eternal! Rejoice! Our Savior has overcome sin and death and all that is unfair in this mortal life! Rejoice! Babies are wonderful! Rejoice!

"Lift up your heart! Lift up your voice!

Rejoice, again I say, rejoice!

Lift up your heart! Lift up your voice!

Rejoice, again I say, rejoice!"

America, the Beautiful

The Fourth of July brought a long weekend, the beginnings of a garden (you've got to start sometime), catching toads that maybe you raised since they were tadpoles, and dancing in princess dresses through the back yard. 

Our breakfast was an Archibald tradition: patriotic themed. This year boasted fresh blueberries from the blueberry farms we've been visiting. There were also chocolate chips and GIANT pancakes.

A small gathering gave the opportunity to make this flag beauty in honor of our country (with a foundation of tres leche cake...mmm), red, white, and blue Jello cups and delicious burgers. Our totally stellar neighbor also donated a few steaks to make our humble spread a feast and they.were.good! This marinade helped. 

The day ended with fireworks over the mighty Mississippi...kind of...and about 50 mosquito bites on each of my legs, which itched for days afterwards. The weather was beautiful the entire weekend and we actually had most of our cookout outside, which is incredible for Mississippi in July! 

I am grateful for this beautiful country that we live in. It is the land that I love and I hope and pray we can keep it the nation of freedom that it is! I am grateful for family, friends, religion, and our Heavenly Father who bounteously blesses our lives and this land.

Amen.

To remember

Summer is slipping by fast. My child hasn't ever gone to school, yet there is still something magical about the summer months when the sun shines and the weather is warm, even if it is unbearably so. Alyssa and I are doing a family history project. It requires us to watch our family movies and make sure they are labeled and categorized. My skills level may not be the best on the planet, but I am grateful for the little snapshots of history that we have so that we can remember the things we have forgotten. (I am also grateful Erik fixed our external hard drive. He is my hero...fixing all my electronic blunders...don't ever buy encrypted hard drives...just for future reference.)

Thus...here is a few glimpses from today.

Today was planting seeds in garden plots, eating strawberries in pink camp chairs with Hello Kitty umbrellas, playing with a garden hose with a nifty gadget on the end. Today was sweat beads on freckled noses, painting toe nails and being eaten by uncle monster.

Sleepy girl

This particular morning in June I had fun plans to go to the zoo. But for some odd reason this little friend of mine slept in until 10:45 AM. I was almost ready to take a nap by the time she woke up!

We didn't go to the zoo, but we had a lovely day anyway...starting with breakfast...or maybe it was lunch?

Months Gone By

Eh, I think the last few months have been some of the most eventful of our life! To quickly summarize lest we forget, these are just a few things we have been up to.

:: Moved from our apartment because we

:: Bought our first house the beginning of April

:: Unpacked our junk

:: Celebrated Alyssa's 4th birthday

:: Hosted Grandma and Grandpa for a week o' fun

:: Turned a work conference in DC into a family vacation visiting Taylor, Krystalee, and Fife as well as good ol' Delaware and other sites along the way

:: Hosted Nana, Papa, Maria, and Aunt Martha for a weekend which led us to

:: Try the safari zoo park in Delhi

:: Planned, prepped, and executed girls camp

:: Made a couple of trips to Dallas in there

:: Painted our kitchen cabinets white

:: Welcomed Ben to Vicksburg for work and fun

and

:: Basked in the delightful spring Vicksburg blessed us with this year.

I'm sure we did some other things but that's a brief run down of what went on. We are loving our new house and new space. Erik is trying to conquer the poison ivy and keep me happy - who knew honey do lists could grow so fast? I'm pretty happy to have counter space in my kitchen. Alyssa loves the yard and the neighbor kids and it is so quiet all the time!

Just so you know we're still alive, here is Alyssa in all her fashion/play glory. She comes up with these things on her own, I promise.

A Giant Chocolate Pancake

Sometimes on Sunday night at 9 PM we make a giant chocolate chocolate chip pancake to satisfy late night sugar cravings. And we melt chocolate chips with peanut butter to make a tasty spread.  Life is good!

Valentine's Day

Our Valentine's day rocked this year! We gave some love (in the form of awesome hand-crafted Valentines as seen below as well as some transformed crayon hearts) and we received MUCH love! I like childlike Valentine's much better than "you're single, bah haha, my life stinks" V-days adolescence seemed to slam in my face.

Alyssa and Erik worked hard creating unique hearts for our dear families!

Sometimes Alyssa looked like this when she was making a Valentine...but she still loves you!

Voila! Hearts with eyes, ears, mouth, and nose...and earrings!

We also made heart sugar cookies. Mmmm. I justified this only because we were having the missionaries over for dinner. I think that my sugar intake was higher for V-day than for Christmas. I was not mentally prepared to withstand the Valentine's sugar rush.

We received lots of love! Packages from Grandma and Nana came. Aunt Claire sent Alyssa a Frozen t-shirt and I made her that nifty skirt. The Valentine Man (who she thinks was the mailman) brought her a balloon and lip gloss! We also got a HUGE heart of chocolate from an anonymous friend with a cute book called Somebody Loves You, Mr. Hatch! It was a special day!