Diabetes.
Where do I start?
Diagnose. Diabetes. Blood Glucose. Dexcom. Insulin (fast acting and long lasting). Needles. Omnipod. Lows. Highs. Glucagon. Carb Counting. Blood Correction. And Bolus...don't forget that weird word.
These were all words that were not in my normal vocabulary. And now I hear them and read them and breathe them almost constantly.
Evan was diagnosed with type 1 diabetes on March 15th. Type 1 Diabetes. My 14 month old baby boy. I took him to the doctor and told her how I had noticed he had been drinking a lot and peeing a lot and that my friend's cat had diabetes and they found out because he was drinking a lot and peeing a lot so could they maybe test his blood sugar to tell me that my baby does not have diabetes like my friend's cat?
A finger poke. A drop of blood. 531 mg/dL. I had tried to look up a normal range before I went, but that number instantly told me that I wasn't going to go home laughing that I thought my baby had diabetes like a cat but he didn't.
I waited in the room. Our pediatrician, Dr. Owens, came in in and told me that Dr. Wise, the doctor who was seeing us that day was making some phone calls because Evan is diabetic. She knew something was up because I'm a pretty chill mom with a bunch of kids that never brings them in except for well child visits. She told me he would be hospitalized for a couple of days.
I remember just kind of reeling from the shock that this was real. I started texting Erik and our family. I texted Sister Jenkins who had my kids to let her know it was going to be awhile before someone came to get the kids.
We went to the hospital and started drinking out of the firehose of diabetes education. Carb counting because every carb counts. Insulin. Shots. Finger pokes. Blood glucose levels. Dexcom - a glucose monitor. Let me tell you, that pancreas sure does have a big job and now it is mine and Erik's job!
Unbelievable. But believable. We all need things that helps us to grow and make us stronger. These things allow for progress. But really, who would have ever thought it would be this.
Let me tell you how God's hand is in all of this.
He helped me notice that Evan's drinking and saturated - OVERLY saturated diapers were a bit unusual.
He linked the cat (Albus) to Evan almost instantly in my mind. Yet,...
He let me think about it for awhile. Talk to people about it including my parents, Erik's mom, another mom of a T1 diabetic.
He inspired my dad to text me and tell me I should probably take Evan in. That it would be good to check if he was diabetic. "Though I hope not", he said.
Me too. That's why I thought I should just wait until April 15 - Evan's 15 month well child visit.
But I didn't wait. Finally the Lord put it in my heart that it was time to take him in. And because He did and I did, Evan was diagnosed before he was super sick. He had lost 6 oz since January. His blood sugar was high. His A1C number was not normal. But he was not in the range of diabetic ketoacidocis. He did have some ketones and the first night many prayers petitioned God to help those clear form his urine. One diaper check they (the ketones number in his urine) were large. The next diaper check they were gone. The nurse told us later that he thought that was highly unusual (good ol' Jose - I liked him better the second night). But it was true. Prayers were answered.
Because we took him in when we did we weren't in the hospital during an extremely busy time at work with Erik. He was only slightly extremely busy and was able to stay in the hospital with Evan and me the whole time.
God directed me in an ever so subtle way to ask Chelsie Jenkins to watch my kids for the visit. If anyone knows what it is like to go to the doctor and end up in the hospital, this super woman does. I needed her strength.
Wonderful people brought us dinner, flowers, notes, made us Evan diabetes bracelets. They thought of us, prayed for us, put our names on the prayer roll. God was with me, with Evan, with Erik and the rest of our kids during that first week and He continues to be with us.
I am so thankful to have so much support. I am particularly thankful that God sent another diabetic mom, another Emily, to guide me through the ins and outs of this life consuming though very manageable disease. I like to have people who have gone before guide me through things. Emily is my guide.
Having a life long disease like diabetes will not be easy for Evan. It will not be easy for me. Though he is the one to feel the physical affects, my mama heart is already feeling wrenched by what has happened and will yet happen. I think of the highs, the lows, and all the carb counting. Forever. But I already know that I'm not doing this alone and Evan will not do it alone.
I was thinking of times when I have gone hiking or I have to unload the car or something. Someone will offer to help carry something and my gut reaction is to kind of brush them off and tell them I'm ok. But the thing is, they are already walking with me and they have capable hands to help me with my load. This is how the Savior is. He's already walking next to me. He's telling me he will carry my load. It is my choice - will I accept his help or will I brush Him off? It would be foolish to brush Him off because He will still keep walking. He is able and willing. He will lighten my load.
Diabetes is hard. It is ever present. But let me also say this is a great time to be a diabetic. Technology is only getting better and may in a few years Evan will have an external pancreas that is just as good as the one that died (may it rest in peace). For now, we will keep pressing on, keep counting carbs, and keep living life one day at a time.
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