Living the Dream

There are so many people who do so many cool things! I admire people who host podcasts, food blog, teach piano, give sound parenting advice, have a small business, compile book lists of beautiful literature, run miles faster than a 12 minute pace, have beautifully decorated homes, share tips for being super frugal, and travel the world in their AirStream (taking beautiful pictures and enjoying nature all the while). Part of me longs to do these things. Why can't I figure it out? What do I lack that these other people have that have brought them to where they are today? What do I need more of to be like them? I want to live the dream! 

Part of the problem is I don't know what "the dream" is? What is it that I am really longing after? Money? Fame? Influence?

Maybe...

But what if I already am living "the dream" and I've just been duped into thinking it is something else?

I think a sense of purpose is important and necessary in living "the dream". People who do all those above things have a purpose. They are accomplishing something, and progressing in very visible ways! It is exciting to witness and I am sure it is exciting to experience. 

I have a purpose, too. It's just a little more common and everyday that the one in a hundred, or thousand, or million. My purpose is to love my children, care for them, nurture them, and teach them. This is my job. It is the most important, most primary job I have. It is not glamorous and picture worthy by the world's standards. 

Changing diapers, making breakfast, and lunch, and dinner, cleaning up messes, keeping house; those things aren't always the most fun. 

But there are so many wonderful moments like reading stories together, playing Legos, eating delicious snacks, going on fun adventures, getting hugs and sweet wet kisses, listening to ideas fresh and new to these young, formative minds, taking walks, and playing at the playground, just to name a few. 

Though there is a slight restlessness inside of my as I think of what more I could and should possibly be doing, I also try to see that right in front of me is "the dream".

I will never regret the hours I spent with my kids. While I am with them, am I really seeing them?

Opportunities ebb and flow like the lapping waves of the sea. Am I taking the opportunity to listen and learn from these wise old souls harbored in fresh new bodies?

Satisfaction comes from a job well done. Did I do my most important job well today?

I don't know why some people can do so much. Their influences are felt like the warmth of the sun by all who choose to stand in their light. Yet, instead of being discouraged that I am not they, I will remember that I am a blanket, just big enough to cover those little bodies seeking warmth on a cold winter's day.

I will be content with my life. I will strive to live in my peace. I will seek the Lord's guidance and know that ultimately I stand accountable to Him. I hope I can do my best with what He has given me. I hope to be the steward he would have me be.

"The dream" is truly right in front of me. May I not let it pass by because I have my back turned, looking for something else. 

...

Epilogue

I started the post trying to find out something about myself. I wanted to know why I seem to long for something else, something more visible. I don't know if I figured out anything while writing this post. I still have this knot in my stomach wondering why some people can do great things with education, jobs, careers, social media posts, and I fall flat in those areas. They can do those things and still be a good mom. Why can't I? I also wonder if the knot is a stirring that I should be doing something more. God needs to use me to be a greater influence than I currently am. But then it's not requisite that I run faster than I have strength. I find peace in influence mediocrity. 

I think there may be more to come as I explore this part of me. Maybe I will find a way to do something a little more. But I also hope to stay centered in what truly matters and never let dreams and ambitions rob me of what is lovely right in front of me.