Kent's Growth

At Kent's 4 month doctor's appointment I found out that my skinny little baby, was indeed skinnier than he should be. He had last weight since his 2 month appointment and had fallen off the growth chart, though the nice nurse rounded up to the 1 percentile. This was a little shocking, embarrassing, and devastating. I felt so bad as a mother. How could I let this happen? Where had we gone wrong? Was it my marathon training? Did I let him sleep too much at night? All those times he cried before falling asleep for a nap, was it because he was STARVING?!

I do not have all the answers, but I am thankful for well child check ups and for bottles and formula. I am thankful I had actually started helping Kent take a bottle before I found this out, because it made supplementing so much easier. 

I'm thankful for this adorable romper my friend sewed for Kent while finishing her last semester of grad school (super woman, my friends) that came in the mail shortly after I found out about Kent's weight. It fit him, partially because he was so skinny, and made me feel very loved and remembered while I was going through my good mom, bad mom crisis.

I am also thankful for the prayers of family and friends on his behalf. I am thankful for the sister who approached me at church the Sunday after, knowing nothing of the weight discovery telling me that all her babies were skinny and they all grew up healthy and happy. I am thankful that even though this was a very minor thing, the Lord showered tender mercies on me as a mother and blessed Kent to grow.

I'm happy to report that Kent ate and ate and ate and now he is no longer a little caterpillar.

He is a great big fat caterpillar!

And so cute. And so fun! He wrinkles his nose when he smiles.

He is starting to clap his hands (fists) when he hears music or is excited. He plays peek a boo. And he is so big!

Kent's weight was not about me. It was about Kent needing to get more nourishment so he could grow big and strong. But it also was about me. It was an opportunity for me to humble myself and set aside my judgments to make sure my baby got what he needed. I wanted my milk supply to miraculously increase. But the reality is, Kent's never really loved nursing. He has a hard time really settling in and enjoying the moment. Formula and bottles has really helped keep him full and happy and what a blessing they are! I am still a good mom even though my milk supply could not support my baby. Maybe it was my half marathon training or maybe not. I won't really every know. But I am thankful that Kent is big and squishy and robust now and I am thankful that I grew a little too.