Paradoxical Glory

The weather has been close to glorious the last few days. The sky has broken and rain has made an appearance more than once this week. Despite the relatively cool weather (it's still hot), Alyssa used her powers of persuasion to convince me to inflate the pool this morning. Such a desire stems from the discovery of a swimsuit hanging in my closet that I bought for next year. She just had to try it out!

I hope when you look at these pictures you see a happy little girl, enjoying life and the experiences it provides in the moments they happen. I hope you see the beauty of the trees, though fear-inducing- as they shade our sanctuary backyard. I hope you can feel the wonder of being outside, secluded, without anything but water and laughter and love in your heart.

We made it through our first two weeks of school. Yet my desire to have Alyssa home, learning at her pace and with her interests has blossomed! Alyssa enjoys preschool thoroughly. I, too, enjoy the few hours I have each week to do some things for myself. But I also feel so deeply that there is so much to learn and experience that can't be done within the walls of school. I want my children to live their childhood free from 9 week testing and days void of recess. I want them to be outside, exploring. I want them to stand by me in the kitchen, creating. I want them to build nests and be birds or cats or dogs, pretending. I want them to see the beauty in life while life is beautiful. 

I'm glad she has three days a week to do her thing. But I'm even more grateful that she's home four days a week and we can have days like today.

When your child grows up

Alyssa started preschool. The night before I asked her if she wanted a special breakfast for her first day of school. It was already after 8 PM and assumed the request would be pancakes or waffles. She nodded her head, thought for a moment and then said, "Cinnamon rolls". And cinnamon rolls it was.

Despite it being almost 9 PM by the time I put them together, Alyssa was still awake and happy to help. This really isn't unusual. We have lots of late nights. Alyssa is a night owl just like Erik. I let her come help. I value the things we do together and though, like any sane mother, I like my time alone, I am also thankful for the times we can do things together. And I was feeling like I needed to spend every moment I could with her before I sent her off to school.





The next morning she woke up bright eyed, ready to go to school. She got dressed, ate breakfast, and was anxious to leave! I drove her to school, anxious to un-sign her up from school and keep my girl home with me forever! She was fine with me doing the car drop off so I drove up, she hopped out, and didn't even wait for anyone to escort her in. They asked her if she knew whose class she was in, she said yes and then went forward, not ever looking back!

It will be an exciting year for her. It is hard for me to let go. We do everything together and now I have 9 hours a week where we aren't doing something together! As I watched her walk into that door, I felt like a piece of my heart was leaving me, now so vulnerable and unprotected. But she will be ok. She's fierce and independent and so happy. I take a deep breath, tell myself it is ok, and see the enjoyment it will give her.

Oh, and this is us with the half green, half orange pepper we ate for lunch after school. Simple pleasures!